Berkeley, Tuesday, December 4, 2018 9:30 PM
Last post was about one month ago. It has been useful to put all my attention on my daily activities and exams, but perhaps all the words that I could have typed here Jian, now, have listened them. You and I should thank Jian then for her attention.
However, I have to remark that there was one day that I was not only in writing silence, but also speaking silence. It was on a date with Jian for dinner, last Sunday. The date came two days after I submitted my written qualification exams. I submitted the exams, on Friday November 30. I am grateful with Jian for pushing me that night to go out to watch a movie, next day we went to a Christmas market, plus some additional shopping, which was for things we needed, but also was a fun time.
On Sunday, I went back to work slowly, in comparison with the intensity up to Friday. That afternoon, Jian, was introduced to the Newman Community as a potential candidate in her path to become a Catholic. During the Eucharistic celebration, my brain and/or my attention were too tired that I missed some parts of the Liturgy and her own introduction to the community. Something that I was regretting at that time. In efforts to being attentive, aware of the moment, and reactive, I, of course, invited her for dinner. I pushed myself regardless being tired. While Jian is a good reader, and a prominent student, often I am the one making up ‘factual’ stories, imitations, jokes, or analysis. -She does that as well sometimes, and even can have a better taste mine.- In any case, while tired I was in absolute silence over the date. Jian could not handle that night. Instead of a celebration, it went wrong a became a source, post-dinner, of worries and fight.
While analyzing the reason of silence could be interesting, I left that to other opportunity. It is something that often happen, and I am OK to be in silence, while the brain is clear. However, for Jian could have been hard. We slightly covered the topic.
Love defeated any doubt. I am glad that we have some debates, fights discussions, to clarify thoughts.
I was writing, last week, to get back to work clear, to organize ideas, and to get the brain working at full capacity. Perhaps, it was about time, and about concreting other uncertainties such as housing. Or perhaps, the brain just needed to slow down a little bit for few days. I am saying this last part after being fully awake and eager to be back writing and reading. I better write another simple piece of blog, actually corresponding to today, Sunday, December 9. Day on which I did little edits on this post from December 4.
All good and moving forward in life, with enthusiasm, goals, courage, love, commitment and respect. Why did I say so many words at the end?